Ask the blogger!

Here comes my final blog to end dyspraxia awareness week. I thought it would be nice for people to ask any random questions they had either about dyspraxia or other issues too I hope my answers can give some positivity and a little bit of hope. Some of the questions are quite personal and before I start answering them although I can give the best advice I can im not professionally trained and if you are struggling severely please seek medical help or contact one of the amazing charities or organisations out there as there are many people who can help, you are not alone. Also whilst I can do my best to answer some of these questions I’m not making out I have fully recovered from some of the issues talked about some are still a daily struggle but if I can make others feel not alone it’s all worth while.

1. How did you decide what the blog was on and how did you get started?
I think my reasonings might suprise and shock people a little. My blog to be honest was created as a way of venting and expressing my feelings and experiences at the time. I was in a job where there was a lot of ignorance surrounding me, there was no undertanding towards hidden conditions in the slightest never mind the positives. It made me determined to make a change and help others out there, although at the time I had no idea what it was I was almost silenced by social anxiety I would go days, weeks, months unable to speak barely only to the children I worked with I began to cope by self harm but realised this wasn’t the way to deal with it at all and began to blog my ideas so I could verbalise what was going on in my head as not only was it upsetting me but I could see it was visably upsetting the people around me. I wanted to change a negative experience into a positive and make people feel that they weren’t alone. I always used think my problems weren’t worth talking about or not as severe and others deserved help more than me. But then I realised to help others I had to help myself. In the media you never really hear the realness of hidden conditions talked about its mainly about reading and spelling and as for dyspraxia many still have no idea what it is although the dyspraxia foundation is doing an amazing job to make people more aware. A lot of the people who spoke out about their experiences were celebrities which is great but I think it’s so important that people see how hidden conditions can effect people on a day to day life this is where the name came from for people to start thinking outside the box and see the bigger picture one of the many positive aspects of having a hidden condition. I had a lot of people coming to me for advice especially about difference, on social Media differnce was either seen as something cool or something wanted and cute or it made someone weird or a freak. I wanted people to see the realness of difference especially in adulthood and nothing to be ashamed of and to educate others especially about issues not really talked about in the media such as social skills and general day to day life that many people take for granted. Later my blog began to focus on more mental health issues too as many people can struggle with both and 1 in 4 people will struggle at some point in life.
That’s how I got started really the determination to make a difference and so people
had the help and understanding they needed so they wouldn’t have to cope via self harm or other self destructive methods this is something which I haven’t really spoken about in many of my blogs before but I think people need to understand the importance of understanding. I would hate for young people to have to self harm because they feel like that so understanding will always be a very important issue for me in my blogs. It was  show to others what you can achieve and overcome and that things shouldn’t hold you back in life  and that you can change your life and feel better and that happiness is possible. Although blogs can focus on many other things so just go for it and let your imagination take you away.

2. What are the positives aspects of being a person with dyspraxia?
I feel being dyspraxic has made me a very undertanding and empathetic person I always take time to get to know someone and see the best in people which can sometimes get me into trouble as I can be far too nice but it’s made me have a deeper awarenss and undertanding of what it’s like to be different and understand that life isn’t all sparkles and sunshines. It’s made me a very determined person to overcome any battles that I come across and also issues and causes which are close to me, if someone makes out I can’t do something it makes me 10x more determined to prove them wrong and to show them I can. It’s also made me a very creative person who can see the bigger picture I can often have random bursts of creativity and can visualise in my head how I want things to look im
Pretty proud of how mollie king’s birghday book has looked over the years Its also made me a really hard worker as many people with dyspraxia and dyslexia have to work 10x harder just to do simple day to day things.

3. What attitudes have you experienced towards dyspraxia and why do you think these are?

A lot of the attitudes I’ve experienced towards dyspraxia because it’s a hidden condition so you can’t see someone might be struggling. In the past people have questioned my ability to do well in education and I got made to feel stupid and worthless. Dypraxia can be quite a messy condition I’ll probably always the person who spills her drink or has to ask if I have half my dinner round my mouth, my bedroom always looks like a bomb has hit it ( sorry Matt) and handwriting can sometimes resemble Egyptian symbols. A lot of people have thought that this was because I was lazy or wasn’t trying hard and that I didn’t take enough time or care and I was just basically careless. I even got told I was a bad role model. I think all of this sadly down to ignorance and people assuming they know about a condition without seeing the bigger pictures and what people CAN do and the positives.

4. How do you cope when your anxiety is high?
This is very hard for me as sometimes when I’m in an anxious mindset it can trigger negative thinking which can lead to tears and anxiety attacks and then a complete burn out. My advice firstly is not to be embarrassed or ashamed of feeling like this you can’t help what your brain is doing. Id say let it initially do its course and make sure you tell Others around you maybe a key word or phrase when you feel like this. Id say make sure you can get fresh air and breathe, write down what might be worrying you and if it’s itrational or not try and have as much a calm in your life as you can remove things or people who may be triggers or which might have a detrimental effect on your emotional well being. Start the day with a good breakfast, read a positive quote and start each day as its a fresh start, be proud of yourslelf of dealing with things which scare you it takes a lot of strength. Also seek professional help if you struggle continuously on a daily basis there are therapies and medications which can help you.

5. What are your best strategies to deal with change?
Fear of the unknown is one of my biggest anxieties the constant “what if”  the constant fear of embarrassing yourself or messing up. A lot of dyspraxic people hate change too a lot of us have our little routines in place and if there’s changes it makes us anxious. I think everyone knows my need of
Pepsi max on a daily basis just to name one. My advice is to write down the positive outcomes, and just go for it I know it’s easier said than done but sometimes you just have to go for it and do it and give yourself a big reward at the end of it pamper yourself, go shopping have some
Chocolate treat yourslelf to a little something to show you’ve done something positive and treat yourself to kind words, be proud of youself.

6. How do you deal with negative thinking?
When you’re struggling it can seem like its a constant spiral of negative thoughts either about yourslef or about situations, when you feel down and low I call it the trapped feeling and it’s like this huge pressure of sinking feeling hits you maybe will make sense to some of you. Many people with anxity can also struggle with depression to any kind of severity again nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about. Its again about looking after yourself and doing little things which make you happy even little things which can help you feel a little bit better, write down a list of positives on your phone. Much to my boyfriends delight when I moved into his, his wardrobe now has a section of everything I’ve got signed by mollie king, positive quotes by her and some positive messages by which help me stay strong and motivated. Maybe do this for yourself maybe you have a celebrity you look up to or have some favourite quotes having them up can really make things a little better, also again if you feel Like this talk to others don’t be ashamed I love the campaign by time to change about making time to talk, I think everyone should make time to talk to people closest to them. Also again like in the last post if you feel like this a lot it might be worth seeking professional help, these are things with the right help and understanding and time you can recover from they just take time again be proud of yourslef for helping yourself.

7. How do you deal with social anxiety?
Society expects people to socialise in a certain way and often people feel embarrassed if they don’t fit into the mould, we also live in a very alcohol culture. The best advice I can give is to be in social situations you feel most comfortable in, don’t feel like you have to conform and fit in. Spend time
With people who make you feel good and confident socially. Id much rather spend a night in a nice pub or bar with wine and cocktails with a small group of people who I could have good conversation with than a huge group of people and being an anxious wreck and not being able to talk.

8. What if anxiety effects your sleep?
I know if I’m particularly anxious I struggle to sleep and I know as a knock on effect mh
boyfriend struggles to sleep too (sorry Matt) so if you ever see Matt with huge eye bags uou
Probably know the reason why. I think to help this is to turn all social media off and put your phone somewhere not near your bed to charge over night, maybe have a bath or a shower, listen to some relaxing music.

9. How do you deal with anxiety at Pop concets?
As boring as its sounds I’ve found lots of alcohol and the sensory iaaues of noise and lights, and the butterflies of seeing an artist you love perform live were having a huge effect on my anxiety levels, try and find a place where you have space to breathe, let the people you’re with know you might be struggling so they know, make sure you keep drinking water, turn your phone onto airplane mode,
and just get into the zone and try and let yourself escape for an hour or two.

10. What advice would you give to Someone who is about to give up on something because it seems too hard?

Everyone has something they find more difficult in life but really work at it and don’t let it hold you back, break it down into manageable chunks, make sure you’re enjoying it if not find something you do enjoy. Things are never going to be easy but they’re going to be worth it in the long run the hard work will pay off and take you to another step in life to where you want to be.