Hello, I know it’s been a while since I’ve written a blog, I hope you’re doing ok? Thank you for your patience with my blog, I really appreciate it.
Inspired by my wonderful friend Immie’s blog, I thought I would write a blog about something important to me and the little things others can do to help.
The world we live in (in normal times) can seem very fast and loud, and if you’re quieter, you can struggle with processing information, and/or have any disability or mental health condition, it can feel like you can struggle to keep up. This can lead to painful and upsetting assumptions about who you are and your day to day life, affecting your self-esteem and mood.
Being a quieter, softly spoken person, with dyspraxia and anxiety/depression, I’ve never found being assertive or social situations easy. People can assume quietness means weakness, or that you’re a doormat or easy target/ pushover. This is far from the case but those assumptions can be hard.
Sometimes, you may feel like on the periphery of a group and not part of one even if you’re physically present, it can feel like everyone is talking to everyone else but you feel on the outside. It makes you worry if nobody even notices you or makes you wonder if you would even be missing if you weren’t there. These feelings of loneliness and isolation can be painful, depressing and also upsetting for those around you. Feeling left out and not invited to things really affected my self-esteem and mood. I began to question if I was likeable, if I had anything interesting to say or if I was good company. I always felt that I was an unpopular option.
It can feel frustrating and that your voice doesn’t matter, but it’s so important that different voices are heard. I feel in every school, workplace, university and friendship group there needs to be understanding of and most importantly value and appreciation of different minds, different personalities, so people don’t feel less than.
How can you help me and others who may need some patience:
1. Give me time and be patient with me and don’t assume I don’t have anything to contribute. Let me feel more settled.
2. Don’t put me on the spot it can make me more anxious and I can freeze, give me time to prepare and process things.
3. If you want to ask me a question or know something about me ask me and don’t go through anyone else or it can make me feel voiceless and awkward.
4. Be curious, take the time to find out more, ask questions, don’t make assumptions. Understand we all have our own unique story and experiences.
5. Be sensitive, appreciate that I’ve had some tricky experiences which have affected my self-esteem and I can be quite a sensitive person in general.
My experiences have made me listen carefully to what others have to say, thoughtful and appreciative of what is important to them. I also have a strong sense of inclusion and hate the thought of anyone being left out. I also am patient with others and have an appreciation of the tenacity involved in a situation.
You are enough as you are, and you matter.
Until next time…..
